Giving back the small amount of money I had been paid was not even worth thinking about. The article was to be 750 words with two photographs for the Human Interest Section. I spent the money and forgot about the article. It was after all not due for weeks. The topic provided seemed dull, and I was called to other visions. A review of a nonexistent operetta seemed best

The Duke of Verona is mistaken for a common garter snake. He plays along at first, but falls in love with a beautiful emerald green tree snake. She is really a Princess of Byzantium, hiding from a cruel arranged marriage. There are twists and turns, their love proclaimed, and identities revealed. A Golden Age of understanding and prosperity sweeps the land.

The Editor was not pleased. As I read she rattled paper clips in warning. She coiled and uncoiled the phone cord in irritation as I gained momentum. She hissed in disdain at my photos, a home made play bill and the exterior of a random theater. As she began to unhinge her lower jaw, I desperately told her the title. It’s called “Wriggletto”.

I work for them full time now, but they insist on more straight forward journalism. No more serpentine tales.

by – Doug Mathewson