Dear Acme Co.,
Please find enclosed my exchange/upgrade form (26-B), and FedEx shipping receipt. As you can see I have been a loyal customer for some considerable time. Having my own 3-D fabric printer-tailor unit has eliminated any need on my part for buying new clothes. Your “Fashion in a Flash (For Him!)” program has been wonderful. The fitting booth, or “ Digital Valet” as your current catalog describes it, takes up closet space formerly occupied by my old regular clothes. Having new fashion forward garments every morning saves the time I formerly wasted on the endless debate of “what shall I wear?”. Your printer is already programed to make, in my size, what ever the celebrity of my choice wore yesterday! Every outfit is a proven paparazzi winner. Gather what you wore yesterday and dump it all into the recycle hopper, then step into the fitting booth. Your lease to own program has helped me immensely, allowing me to move up to a new look. As you can see from my paper work I am returning an Andre 3000 software module towards your newly announced David Bowie Berlin Years unit. Andre’s fashion sense has always been impeccable. A wise choice given my demographic of living in the Philadelphia -Boston urban sprawl. Being from New England I find myself more sprawl than urban and look forward to my new chic vintage Bowie look. On another piece of business, I still have still not received credit for the M.C. Hammer unit I returned some time ago. Gentleman, this matter should have been resolved by now. But not to close on a sour note, as I am sure you will sort it all out.
Yours most sincerely,
Bigalow Bungalow