I wrote this pre-election Nov. 2016 when I and much of the country was in a lighter mood. The inspiration for this story comes from a story by Amanda Marbais called “Colossal”. It’s published in “Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet” issue #34. The story is brilliant and involves a giant squid named Gerald who is dealing with among other things his droid-porn addiction.

Getting Out The Vote

When he was nominated the business of who would be the first not actually completely human candidate for office was resolved, and Ball Joint was fantastically popular. He had good looks, a quick wit, and always seemed to be enjoying life. His appeal was universal. He was a household word, if not one spoken aloud.
Human people did not care to admit they knew him as the world’s most popular droid-porn star. Other droids would point it out with pride and hybrid or humanoid
citizens found this aspect of Ball Joint’s success story hilarious. Now he was “Candidate Ball Joint” and the world could move on towards election day.
All adult citizens got to vote. Fox people, dog people, rabbit people (don’t call them “bunnies”), all species and of course androids. Everyone except zombies because fuck them, and are they alive or what?
Droids were the first to get the vote. The old style original humans were few, and those few were faltering. Everyone loved droids. They were pleasant, polite, often charming, and always willing to take on the most unwanted tasks. The jobs no one wanted to do. Like being a poet. Who would want that, with such long hours and so little reward?
Some in the press called him “Nick Chopper”, a reference to Dorothy’s Tin Man
without a heart when he proposed major cut backs, even on oxygen production to balance a budget that had long been mired by decades of neglect and abuse. Ball Joint’s supporters came up with the slogan “Oil Can” in response. The slogan that soon appeared on T-shirts, banners, and bumper stickers.
The real clincher, the move that would be credited for his eventual win, was when Ball Joint started making his appearances in full droid porn gear with a big old fashion oil can in hand. Giving a knowing wink, he’d shoot a couple of squirts from the oil can and say; “This election,…. it’s gonna be tight”!

Doug Mathewson