Space invaders from the sky!
Oh so horrifying to behold.
Wave upon endless wave of metal ships descend from above!
With menacing visage they march upon our fair metropolis,
Morning light discarded, crazed in refraction
Off armor’s unnerving gleam.
Cruel tridents ring with each lock-step strike upon ground,
Marking the measure of their advance.
With steely swords raised aloft in unison
They chant and march as one.
Clockwork voice-boxes proclaim Earth’s demise,
In crude flat imitation of our sweet native tongue.
The situation is so desperate!
Things are bleak for all mankind!
Till New Jersey’s Mighty Teamsters did arise
From very depths of Newark’s scrap-yard bowels.
Striking back with vengeance, fearsome to behold,
And the most monstrous of grapple cranes.
Huge magnetic claws cut swaths of utter ruin,
No invader remained intact, no body, ship, or sword.
We weep and laugh so joyfully now!
Our hearts do burst with delight!
As China bound by cargo-barge this once fierce army goes.
Crushed and bailed, then sold by weight.
An unanticipated destiny for them now,
Awaits beneath our foreign stars.
Newly minted they shall be reborn,
As products made by Kitchen-Maid.